**Revised Script:**
**Page 1**
**Panel 1**
* Exterior of the hospital at night. A dark figure with glowing red eyes is perched on a tree branch, overlooking the hospital.
**Caption**
Outside the hospital, a sinister presence lurks...
**Page 2**
**Panel 1**
* Back in David's ward, Nathan Criss is speaking to David and Terry.
**Nathan Criss**
...and I'm telling you, werewolves and supernatural creatures exist in the real world!
**David**
(looking shocked)
What?! That's impossible!
**Terry**
(equally stunned)
How can that be true?
**Page 3**
**Panel 1**
* Nathan continues to speak, unaware of the danger behind him.
**Nathan Criss**
We don't have much time, guys-
**Page 3**
**Panel 2**
* The dark figure from the tree, Kael Kellan, is now standing behind Nathan. David and Terry see him and try to warn Nathan.
**David**
(alarmed)
Nathan, behind you!
**Terry**
(surprised)
Oh no!
**Page 4**
**Panel 1**
* Kael Kellan grabs Nathan by the neck with one hand and steps out of the shadows, revealing his appearance.
**Kael Kellan**
(to David)
You. I've been looking for you, David. You see, I'm the one who bit you... and I want you to join my pack.
**Caption**
Kael Kellan: Pale skin, brown curly hair, brown beard, hooded eyes, red glowing iris, convex nose, deep bite teeth with fangs, wearing a black trench coat, black jeans, and white top with Adidas Superstar shoes.
**Page 5**
**Panel 1**
* A woman with sleek red hair, monolid eyes, and a curvy body rushes into the room.
**Woman**
Kael, let him go!
**Page 5**
**Panel 2**
* Kael Kellan drops Nathan and jumps out of the window, disappearing into the night.
**Kael Kellan**
(to David)
I'll be back for you soon, David...
**Caption**
Kael Kellan jumps through the window, leaving David, Nathan, and the mysterious woman behind.
**Page 6**
**Panel 1**
* The woman and Nathan rush to the window, looking out into the night.
**Nathan**
(looking out the window)
He's gone...
**Woman**
(concerned)
We need to get you out of here, David. Now.
Corrected issues:
* Format and structure: The script now follows a standard comic book script format, with clear panel descriptions, character dialogue, and captions.
* Pacing: The revised script breaks up the action and dialogue into manageable chunks, allowing for better pacing and visual storytelling.
* Character descriptions: Character descriptions are now presented in a clear and concise manner, making it easier for the artist to visualize the characters.
* Dialogue: Dialogue is now more concise and natural-sounding, with a focus on character interaction and development.
* Visual storytelling: The revised script focuses on creating a clear visual narrative, with descriptions of setting, action, and characters that will help the artist bring the story to life.
Note: Some creative liberties were taken to enhance the script's clarity and flow, while maintaining the original tone and intent.