I'm sorry you're experiencing this difficulty with your husband. Being a stay-at-home parent is absolutely a real and demanding job. Here are some suggestions for communicating with your husband about this:
1. **Choose the right time**: Find a calm moment when you're both relaxed to have this conversation.
2. **Express your feelings**: Use "I" statements to share how his comments make you feel. For example, "I feel undervalued when you suggest I'm not working a real job."
3. **Educate him**: Share information about the economic value of stay-at-home parents. Many studies show it's equivalent to a six-figure salary.
4. **Highlight your contributions**: Make a list of all the tasks you do daily and discuss how these benefit your family.
5. **Ask for his perspective**: Try to understand why he feels this way. There may be underlying concerns about finances or societal pressures.
6. **Seek compromise**: If he's worried about finances, perhaps you could explore part-time work options that don't compromise childcare.
7. **Consider counseling**: If communication remains difficult, a family therapist could help mediate this discussion.
Remember, your work as a stay-at-home mom is valuable and important. It's crucial that your husband understands and appreciates this.